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New Google Phone Whispers Targeted Ads In Your Ears

So this is how Google is going to make the Nexus One work: Advanced voice-recognition technnology will whisper targeted ads directly into your ears, reports The Onion. Another win for Google,...

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What Really Happens To A McDonald's Burger When You Leave It Out

Recently photos of a McDonald’s burger left out for 180 days with no visibile signs of decomposing went viral. Consumerist reader GitEmSteveDave decided to recreate the experiment using time-lapse...

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Smoke Pink Cigarettes, Fight Breast Cancer

For every pack of pink cigarettes you smoke, RJ Morris will donate half a cent to breast cancer research. Pink Cigarettes UCBcomedy.com Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB...

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10 Ways To Make The TSA Crotch Grabbers Profitable

Last week, the the Director of Homeland Security suggested to Congress that the TSA get a cut of airline baggage fees. The fees encourage travelers to carry on their bags, and this in turn leads to...

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H2O Police Says Just Light A Match Before Drinking

At first glance this sticker I spotted on a water fountain appears to be from the New York City Department of Environmental Protection, telling citizens that they’ve checked out the water and it’s...

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Inside A "Big Food" Product Development Meeting

Where do they come up with all those great ideas to make 500 different snack foods out of the same four crappy ingredients and then try to trick us into thinking they’re healthy? This amusing...

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Get A Free Inhaler From Coal Cares

May is Asthma Awareness Month and you can celebrate it with a free asthma inhaler courtesy of Coal Cares. They’ve put together a fun and informative site to help teach kids that inhalers are cool, and...

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Colbert Makes Dude Version Of Summer's Eve Hand Puppet Ads

In order to rectify a troubling imbalance in the world, the Colbert Report made a spoof commercial of the Summer’s Eve talking vaginal hand puppets, just for men. “I don’t think that it’s fair that...

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Bank Of America Has Gotten So Bad, It's Hard To Tell Satire From Reality

Bank of America may have avoided the stain of the Worst Company In America Golden Poo for the second year in a row, but the perennial runner-up still has plenty of haters out there, including some who...

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Who Dares Visit A Restaurant Without Reading Online Reviews First?

The best satire is deeply rooted in reality. That’s why an article from this week’s issue of the Onion shook us to the core. “Brave Woman Enters Restaurant Without First Looking It Up Online,” the...

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Time Warner Cable Impersonators Ask: What Can We Do Worse For Our Customers?

Clearly disappointed that they weren’t able to progress beyond the second round in Consumerist’s Worst Company in America Tournament, Time Warner Cable has put out a call to their customers asking for...

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We Disagree With This Fake Overview Of Black Friday Sales

(smohundro) This satirical Onion overview of Black Friday sales is funny and all, but we’re pretty sure that they printed an error. The store that’s offering a “[c]omplimentary all-encompassing sadness...

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No, That Sansabelt “Action Pants” Ad You Saw On Facebook Is Not Real

Everyone loves vintage ads, especially the ones that haven’t aged particularly well. You know, the sexist and racist ads that look horrible to modern eyes, and the ones that sixty years of unrelenting...

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Facebook To Point Out To Your Idiot Friends That The Onion Is Not Real News

(literallyunbelievable.org)It’s both hilarious and depressing when I go onto Facebook and see that someone I know is expressing outrage — OUTRAGE!! — in response to a shocking news story they came...

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The Onion Reacts To Facebook’s Hand-Holding Of Your Idiot Friends

Earlier today, Facebook confirmed it was rolling out a system that labels links from The Onion and others as “satire,” so that your idiot friend from high school would (hopefully) realize that the...

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